Comments on: Sticks and stones http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/ Genie wuz here Sat, 07 Jan 2012 06:37:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Megan http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3560 Megan Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:02:58 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3560 Ugh. I've witnessed stuff like that before and I've stood there trying to decide if I should say something or not. I think the recommended approach is to say something to the parent like "It sounds like you're having a hard time. Can I help you out in any way? Can I keep an eye on your kid for a moment while you take a break? I know how hard it is with a small child." Or something to that effect, so the parent doesn't feel threatened and you interrupt the abuse without escalating the situation. That's the theory anyway. I have no idea if it would work though. Ugh. I’ve witnessed stuff like that before and I’ve stood there trying to decide if I should say something or not. I think the recommended approach is to say something to the parent like “It sounds like you’re having a hard time. Can I help you out in any way? Can I keep an eye on your kid for a moment while you take a break? I know how hard it is with a small child.” Or something to that effect, so the parent doesn’t feel threatened and you interrupt the abuse without escalating the situation. That’s the theory anyway. I have no idea if it would work though.

]]> By: Jen http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3559 Jen Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:48:05 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3559 "I'm tired of your behavior!" is one thing, "I'm sick of you" is another entirely. And yet we all fight with the urge to correct and the knowledge that if any sanctimonious bitch corrected us we'd be aghast, but would we be ashamed and introspective? It is a very fine and delicate line to walk between different parenting techniques and minor physical or mental abuse. All that said, poor kid. “I’m tired of your behavior!” is one thing, “I’m sick of you” is another entirely.

And yet we all fight with the urge to correct and the knowledge that if any sanctimonious bitch corrected us we’d be aghast, but would we be ashamed and introspective? It is a very fine and delicate line to walk between different parenting techniques and minor physical or mental abuse.

All that said, poor kid.

]]> By: Genie http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3556 Genie Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:01:31 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3556 I had an aunt-in-law who was known to verbally reprimand parents who were behaving badly in grocery stores. We always wondered if she was going to end up in a fist fight, but it was completely against her nature to stand by in the face of something she saw as Wrong. I had an aunt-in-law who was known to verbally reprimand parents who were behaving badly in grocery stores. We always wondered if she was going to end up in a fist fight, but it was completely against her nature to stand by in the face of something she saw as Wrong.

]]> By: Catherine http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3547 Catherine Tue, 22 Sep 2009 12:04:09 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3547 We had some people living behind us for a while with young kids about Richard's age (early grade-school at the time). There was an extra man living there, who was said to be the mother's brother. I think he was there because the dad was deployed. I heard him say to the kids one day: "You disgust me." I cringed. We had some people living behind us for a while with young kids about Richard’s age (early grade-school at the time). There was an extra man living there, who was said to be the mother’s brother. I think he was there because the dad was deployed. I heard him say to the kids one day: “You disgust me.” I cringed.

]]> By: Genie http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3555 Genie Tue, 22 Sep 2009 12:01:59 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3555 Dude, you deserve a medal for every day you make it through work and don't end up behind bars for assault. I cannot even imagine the horrible behavior (and consequences from it) that you've had to witness. Dude, you deserve a medal for every day you make it through work and don't end up behind bars for assault. I cannot even imagine the horrible behavior (and consequences from it) that you've had to witness.

]]> By: Eadric http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3554 Eadric Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:25:01 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3554 That feeling of sickness and rage? It never goes away. And that's a good thing. The closest I've ever come to cold-blooded murder was after reading a story in the WaPo about a woman who, in WalMart, beat her three-year-old bloody to shut him up. Literally beat him into submission - lacerations on his face and neck, bruises on his body and limbs. Finally, after FIVE MINUTES, a store manager called police. And was disciplined by WM Corporate for interfering. Every person who saw that little boy beaten and did nothing should die by fire. I had a three-year-old at the time, and while he could be irritating as hell, I cannot imagine taking out my rage and frustration on him like that. Recounting the story still makes me shake with rage. I dream at night of tracking down each of those people and exacting adult-style revenge on the hapless idiots who couldn't be bothered to help a child. That feeling of sickness and rage? It never goes away. And that's a good thing.

The closest I've ever come to cold-blooded murder was after reading a story in the WaPo about a woman who, in WalMart, beat her three-year-old bloody to shut him up. Literally beat him into submission – lacerations on his face and neck, bruises on his body and limbs. Finally, after FIVE MINUTES, a store manager called police. And was disciplined by WM Corporate for interfering.

Every person who saw that little boy beaten and did nothing should die by fire. I had a three-year-old at the time, and while he could be irritating as hell, I cannot imagine taking out my rage and frustration on him like that.

Recounting the story still makes me shake with rage. I dream at night of tracking down each of those people and exacting adult-style revenge on the hapless idiots who couldn't be bothered to help a child.

]]> By: Raven http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3553 Raven Tue, 22 Sep 2009 10:57:53 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3553 Welcome to my world. I have been dealing with this same issue for years. I often wish I could just walk across the room and beat the snot out of people like this grandmother. Just be glad it didn't result in the child actually getting a beating. Welcome to my world. I have been dealing with this same issue for years. I often wish I could just walk across the room and beat the snot out of people like this grandmother. Just be glad it didn't result in the child actually getting a beating.

]]> By: Charlotte http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3552 Charlotte Tue, 22 Sep 2009 10:47:18 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3552 Oh, how horrible. I admit, I get frustrated with the boys occasionally, but even so how could somebody ever say THAT? I had a similar experience in the perinatologists office. I was hooked up to the NST machine, and there was a woman in the curtained off area next to me, having the same thing done, but who brought her toddler with her. I understand that it's hard to find care, but you *can't* watch a toddler while confined to a chair hooked up to instruments. This woman was shouting at the kid and threatening. The *perinatologist* called family services. Oh, how horrible. I admit, I get frustrated with the boys occasionally, but even so how could somebody ever say THAT?

I had a similar experience in the perinatologists office. I was hooked up to the NST machine, and there was a woman in the curtained off area next to me, having the same thing done, but who brought her toddler with her. I understand that it's hard to find care, but you *can't* watch a toddler while confined to a chair hooked up to instruments. This woman was shouting at the kid and threatening. The *perinatologist* called family services.

]]> By: Tracy http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3549 Tracy Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:28:17 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3549 I can so relate. Things like that have always made me so sick and sad, but once I had Lilian my empathy with the children incresed thousandfold. I was in Target and there was a woman in the aisle next to us with her 3 or 4 year old girl in the cart. She was screaming at her telling her to shut up and that she was so selfish - over and over and over again. I gave a glare as she walked by and she glared back and I wanted to punch her. Another day a woman in a hoodie was walking her 7ish year old sister/daughter home from school and yelled to her - I said to walk on this side of the street, you little bitch! I got so sick to my stomach and wanted to cry. I can so relate. Things like that have always made me so sick and sad, but once I had Lilian my empathy with the children incresed thousandfold.

I was in Target and there was a woman in the aisle next to us with her 3 or 4 year old girl in the cart. She was screaming at her telling her to shut up and that she was so selfish – over and over and over again. I gave a glare as she walked by and she glared back and I wanted to punch her.

Another day a woman in a hoodie was walking her 7ish year old sister/daughter home from school and yelled to her – I said to walk on this side of the street, you little bitch! I got so sick to my stomach and wanted to cry.

]]> By: paleotheist http://www.inabottle.org/2009/09/21/sticks-and-stones/#comment-3550 paleotheist Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:26:33 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1699#comment-3550 Maybe I'm callus and violent, but I think that grandmother deserved a good swat in the head with your magazine. I totally second your urge to take action! Maybe I'm callus and violent, but I think that grandmother deserved a good swat in the head with your magazine. I totally second your urge to take action!

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