Comments on: Addicted to love http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/ Genie wuz here Sat, 07 Jan 2012 06:37:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Becca http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4330 Becca Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:51:21 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4330 I know this is late, but huge hugs...I am dreading the day I have to leave my little nugget in daycare. Kevin and I have worked it out so he will drop off, and I'll pick up...otherwise, I know there is no way I wouldn't run out of that daycare, call my boss, and quit right on the spot. I hope it's getting better! I know this is late, but huge hugs…I am dreading the day I have to leave my little nugget in daycare. Kevin and I have worked it out so he will drop off, and I’ll pick up…otherwise, I know there is no way I wouldn’t run out of that daycare, call my boss, and quit right on the spot. I hope it’s getting better!

]]> By: Genie http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4331 Genie Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:13:13 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4331 It is better. That first week was absolutely horrible. But these days he is more active and independent and I still get to see him at lunch and it's all better bit by bit. But feel free to call me and sob to me that first week when your little peanut has to leave you. :) It is better. That first week was absolutely horrible. But these days he is more active and independent and I still get to see him at lunch and it's all better bit by bit. But feel free to call me and sob to me that first week when your little peanut has to leave you. :)

]]> By: Helen http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4183 Helen Thu, 21 Jan 2010 11:21:53 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4183 Oh Genie, wish I'd seen this sooner :( My heart goes out to you, sending you a virtual shoulder whenever you need it. A few thoughts: 1) Let's all move to Sweden so we can get a year off and 80% pay. I took a year off at 0% pay and minimal % adult interaction -- don't recommend that strategy for many reasons. :) 2) Worth repeating: MILLIONS OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION ARE SCREAMING AT YOU TO PROTECT THAT CHILD FROM THE WOOLLY MAMMOTH JUST OUTSIDE THE CAVE. Everything you are feeling is completely normal. Everything. Mothers are wired to feel exactly what you feel. 3) If it doesn't feel right yet, trust your instincts and make the changes you need to make so that it does feel right. Go to work when he's napping. Bring your laptop to daycare when he's awake and work while he does tummy time on the floor. Bring him with you to meetings (I did this once at an adhoc offsite I was asked to lead, no child care so had both my kids with me, 9 months old, in the middle of the conference table, thinking everyone was talking to/ playing with them. All the adults enjoyed the meeting. :) Can't do it every time, but once in a while ... ;-) We are pioneers in this whole working mom thing -- we have to figure out what we need to be happy and change our world (or in this case, our microcosm) to get it. The numbers are on our side: Women now comprise more than half the workforce. Two-thirds of American women with children under six work outside the home today. Only one in five U.S. families with children is characterized by a traditional male breadwinner and a stay-at-home mom. It's tough out there for moms, but know that tens of millions of your sisters are going through this with you. 4) It will get easier. Sort of. In a few months, when you're not Ian's sole food source, a lot of the subconscious stress will subside (well, at least it did for me). 5) My kids cried when I left this morning and it haunted me all the way to work. 30 min later my sitter called me at work - not for them, but for me, so I could hear them cooing and know how fine they are. It does get easier :D xoxo, H Oh Genie, wish I'd seen this sooner :( My heart goes out to you, sending you a virtual shoulder whenever you need it. A few thoughts:

1) Let's all move to Sweden so we can get a year off and 80% pay. I took a year off at 0% pay and minimal % adult interaction — don't recommend that strategy for many reasons. :)

2) Worth repeating: MILLIONS OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION ARE SCREAMING AT YOU TO PROTECT THAT CHILD FROM THE WOOLLY MAMMOTH JUST OUTSIDE THE CAVE. Everything you are feeling is completely normal. Everything. Mothers are wired to feel exactly what you feel.

3) If it doesn't feel right yet, trust your instincts and make the changes you need to make so that it does feel right. Go to work when he's napping. Bring your laptop to daycare when he's awake and work while he does tummy time on the floor. Bring him with you to meetings (I did this once at an adhoc offsite I was asked to lead, no child care so had both my kids with me, 9 months old, in the middle of the conference table, thinking everyone was talking to/ playing with them. All the adults enjoyed the meeting. :) Can't do it every time, but once in a while … ;-)

We are pioneers in this whole working mom thing — we have to figure out what we need to be happy and change our world (or in this case, our microcosm) to get it. The numbers are on our side: Women now comprise more than half the workforce. Two-thirds of American women with children under six work outside the home today. Only one in five U.S. families with children is characterized by a traditional male breadwinner and a stay-at-home mom. It's tough out there for moms, but know that tens of millions of your sisters are going through this with you.

4) It will get easier. Sort of. In a few months, when you're not Ian's sole food source, a lot of the subconscious stress will subside (well, at least it did for me).

5) My kids cried when I left this morning and it haunted me all the way to work. 30 min later my sitter called me at work – not for them, but for me, so I could hear them cooing and know how fine they are. It does get easier :D

xoxo,

H

]]> By: Stringmonkey http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4135 Stringmonkey Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:32:00 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4135 No advice, just hugs. No advice, just hugs.

]]> By: Marion http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4133 Marion Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:11:53 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4133 I stayed home with my little guy, so I didn't have the daycare blues, but right about the 3 month mark is when the postpartum depression kicked in big time. If this keeps up, please get help! I stayed home with my little guy, so I didn’t have the daycare blues, but right about the 3 month mark is when the postpartum depression kicked in big time. If this keeps up, please get help!

]]> By: Jessica http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4136 Jessica Mon, 11 Jan 2010 15:37:33 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4136 Hugs from us, too. Hugs from us, too.

]]> By: Gina http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4132 Gina Mon, 11 Jan 2010 13:28:39 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4132 I can't give you "motherly" advice, since I've never been one... all I can say is that after a day of having the little guy sleeping on me, I went through a bit of Ian withdrawal myself. I can't imagine how much worse it is for you. This only means that you're a loving, caring mother and you want to do all of this RIGHT. It's a good thing, even though it hurts so much. Just remember, if the mountain lion shows up, you're only right across the street.. you don't even have to get in your car. Heck.. you could baby monitor him from your office :-) Stay strong. You are loved (and your upsettedness is proof that he is, too) I can’t give you “motherly” advice, since I’ve never been one… all I can say is that after a day of having the little guy sleeping on me, I went through a bit of Ian withdrawal myself. I can’t imagine how much worse it is for you.

This only means that you’re a loving, caring mother and you want to do all of this RIGHT. It’s a good thing, even though it hurts so much.

Just remember, if the mountain lion shows up, you’re only right across the street.. you don’t even have to get in your car. Heck.. you could baby monitor him from your office :-)

Stay strong. You are loved (and your upsettedness is proof that he is, too)

]]> By: Geena http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4134 Geena Mon, 11 Jan 2010 11:14:57 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4134 It's been 25 years since I went through what you are going through and reading this post made it all come back like yesterday. I was in the military when my baby was born. When she was six weeks old I had to return to duty. I seriously (I do mean seriously) considered injuring myself because that was the only way I could think of to get out of my military service and get home to my baby. Living in Sweden now where mommies get a whole year off work with 80% pay when they have a baby just underlines what you and I know: having to leave your baby in the care of other people earlier than you are ready to do so is unnatural and horribly painful. I do so hope that your pain soon eases. It's been 25 years since I went through what you are going through and reading this post made it all come back like yesterday. I was in the military when my baby was born. When she was six weeks old I had to return to duty. I seriously (I do mean seriously) considered injuring myself because that was the only way I could think of to get out of my military service and get home to my baby. Living in Sweden now where mommies get a whole year off work with 80% pay when they have a baby just underlines what you and I know: having to leave your baby in the care of other people earlier than you are ready to do so is unnatural and horribly painful. I do so hope that your pain soon eases.

]]> By: Jason http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4131 Jason Mon, 11 Jan 2010 07:25:15 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4131 Genie, my dear, you are not alone in this. When Shannon went back to United I was the one who had to take both kids to daycare. Everyday. I dreaded that feeling everyday. I dreaded feeling like I was failing them. You are not alone in what you are feeling, Genie. You are a good and dedicated mother. You are not failing Ian. Trust that little voice in the back of your head. We love you guys. Genie, my dear, you are not alone in this. When Shannon went back to United I was the one who had to take both kids to daycare. Everyday. I dreaded that feeling everyday. I dreaded feeling like I was failing them. You are not alone in what you are feeling, Genie. You are a good and dedicated mother. You are not failing Ian. Trust that little voice in the back of your head. We love you guys.

]]> By: Charlotte http://www.inabottle.org/2010/01/10/addicted-to-love/#comment-4124 Charlotte Mon, 11 Jan 2010 03:31:23 +0000 http://www.inabottle.org/?p=1893#comment-4124 I have nothing but sympathy. It's been over three years since I left my babies for others to take care of during the day, and I'm still fretting about it. I have nothing but sympathy. It’s been over three years since I left my babies for others to take care of during the day, and I’m still fretting about it.

]]>