Sarah was a good dog
I miss my dog.
She has always been my dog, for all her 13 years and no matter who I lived with. Jeremy and I were looking for a mate for our elderly dog Casey and found a newspaper ad for a “b collie mix” in Roanoke. The b we assumed to mean border collie and that sounded great to us. When we arrived at the couple’s house and saw this scrawny version of Lassie, we realized our mistake but we were committed. I think she was free.
She became my dog when she turned out to be such a problem. She was over a year old and not socialized or housebroken. She had attachment issues and was a 60 pound dog who wanted to be in your pocket.
We struggled with housebreaking her for years. It wasn’t until Jeremy and I divorced and she was on her own with me and the cat that she really flourished. That was in 2002. She went on hundreds of walks with me on the beach. She rode in my Mini Cooper many times to Richmond to visit Rich. She did well with inviting a sassy Scottish terrier to come live with us when Rich and Connor came here.
She never needed a leash. She was the definition of a companion dog, never straying more than a few feet from us. Softly speaking her name would get her to come to you or go lie down, whichever was appropriate. And unless she was sick, she never messed in the house.
Then we moved to this new house 18 months ago. She had two scary spells of vestibular disease where she lost all balance for a week at a time. Then her hips got worse and we had to carry her in and out of the house. Then she had a hard time with our hardwood floors downstairs. Then she lost control of her bowels, ironically bringing on a reappearance of the “turd fairy” that we thought we’d outsmarted years ago.
Then it got harder to trick her into taking her pain pills. Then she had an even harder time walking around, routinely getting jackknifed on furniture and lacking the strength to get herself up off the floor without a lot of alarming banging around.
Saturday morning I carried her out to the yard but she wasn’t strong enough to pee. She wouldn’t eat her wet food or take her pills. And by the afternoon, I realized she had two bedsores on her side, one of which had torn open.
I carried her to the car and took her to the emergency vet, not wanting to give up on her but wondering if she would come home with me again. I realized I was able to easily carry her inside in one arm. She didn’t fight me when I laid her on the towel in the waiting room. We weighed her and I was alarmed to see she’d withered down to 40 pounds.
I carried her back to the exam room and she let me put her on the table and didn’t move. I talked to the vet and we had the “quality of life” talk. We couldn’t keep her current bed sores clean, let alone keep her from getting more. And the antibiotics she’d need would just make her sick. So we opted to just help her go to sleep.
The vet took our picture for me. She came back with an assistant and I held her while they put her to sleep. I opted for getting her cremated for us because it’s a mess to dig a hole large enough for a collie, particularly when it’s 90F outside.
I thought I was okay. I had a good cry on the way home. We had friends in town and the distraction of dinner was nice. And I was okay with it until bedtime. We have our routine of putting Sarah out then getting her settled in the kitchen while Mollie comes upstairs to sleep with us. But Mollie kept pacing around and wouldn’t come upstairs. It was breaking my heart. So I had to stay up late and write all this to say goodbye to a great dog.
I miss you, Sarah.
Alan and I are both so very sorry for your loss. Sarah was a wonderful dog and a great friend and companion to you during a really unsettling time. It's hard to lose a member of your family.
I'm so sorry to hear the news. Loosing someone who has been with you through so much is really hard. I remember how it was when our 16-yr old cat got to that point. Our sympathies.
I'm sorry about Sarah. You were obviously wonderful parents to her. I'll miss hearing about her in your posts. She always reminded me a bit of a russian wolfhound, she was a very regal looking dog.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Loosing a pet is horrible. Loosing a companion is infinitely worse.
So sorry to hear of the loss of your trusted companion. She was beautiful.
That last picture made me cry, because I remember the feeling well.
Oh Genie,
My heart breaks for you. I've been where you are too many times to count. Mostly with my neighbors doggies/cat's. I love them like they are my own.
Remember the good times, which is what I think you did in your post. She was beautiful.
Oh damn, I am so sorry. How lucky you to were to have each other.
I am so sorry. Your lives were melded, and she was a good dog. You enriched her life as she enriched yours. It's a difficult choice but a noble one, that you made.
I don't think there's a separate heaven for dogs. They'd be happiest with people around to play with, to cuddle with, and to pat and skritch them. And their presence makes it even sweeter for the human souls there.
It's a lot like losing a child when we lose a loved pet; especially one that's been with us for years. I dread the day when I have to suffer the loss of any of ours. I've gone through it before, but it never gets easier. The good thing is that you had those years together, and you have the good memories to carry with you forever.
Oh, Genie…I am so sorry.You were both so lucky to have each other. Your relationship with her is the textbook definition of unconditional love. I can't imagine how hard it was to make that decision–it was clearly the humane, correct decision, but so difficult nonetheless.
I think that Sarah's spirit visited us this morning. I read this, and of course started bawling. I heard Max jump out of bed and come downstairs–which he NEVER does in the morning; that's prime puppy snoozin' time. We went outside for an early playtime, and had a good hour of play and pets before Brooke woke up.
She was such a sweetie. I'll miss her too.
Genie I am so sorry for your loss but I know that you did the best thing for her. You will never forget her and she sounds like she was a really good dog. Last week my cat went to the vet and they found out he had a massive tumor. He was getting thinner and thinner and had trouble walking. I stayed with him while they put him to sleep. It is really hard losing a pet and my heart goes out to you.
I'm so sorry . . . and I think it is great that you took the picture. Staying with them in those last moments is always heartbreaking . . . I've done it three times . . . but I like to think they know that you are there for them.
Take care.
I am so sorry for your losing Sarah. We lost our black lab (of almost ten years) Raven a year and a half ago. It's is difficult to let go of pets as they become members of your family.
I'm so sorry Genie. This is one of the worst things, even when you know it's the right time. That last photo breaks my heart. Thank heaven for good dogs.
Genie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad we got to visit and give her pets recently. I have been in self-imposed isolation so I had no idea. I'm so sorry.
What a beautiful member of your family. Such a painful loss. My heart goes out to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels. The pain will get better though.
Sarah was a sweet girl.After Casey came to live with us, we saw a dog on the street who looked like Sarah, and he went nuts until he realized it was someone else.I hope she and Casey can be together now.So sorry, Genie.
I am so sorry for your loss. But comforted that you had this smooth, not-too-traumatic way to say goodbye.
I know I am facing this too soon with my Katy girl, and appreciate every day that I get have her smash her head into my groin as a greeting.
I cried reading this. So sorry for your loss. I know your pain, it is so real, it will be a while. The joy of having her still worth the sorrow of loosing her in the end.