It’s fitting that I’m sitting down to write this during Ian’s nap time. It’s also fitting that his noon naptime turned into finally falling asleep on me in the recliner at 1:30pm.

I think we all try to learn from our own experiences to know how we should handle things with others. But as Rich likes to say, I was raised by wolves. I never had an allowance. I never got grounded. I didn’t have designated chores. And I never had a bedtime.

When I was an infant I slept in my parents’ room. They were co-sleepers before co-sleeping was cool, mostly because there were five of us living in a two bedroom house under major construction. I first slept on a shelf/drawer that my father built next to their bed. And I eventually moved to a crib at the foot of their bed. I stayed in that crib until I was four and a half.

We then moved across the street to a much larger three bedroom house. But since my oldest brother was 22 at the time and had never had his own room, my parents gave him the master bedroom and they took the mother-in-law suite in the back. I shared that room with my parents until I was at least 7 or so? I can’t really remember.

My parents don’t have similar schedules at all. Mom is a morning person and Dad is a night owl. I stayed up many a night watching Johnny Carson with Daddy and it’s one of my favorite memories. I don’t ever remember being tired as a kid. (They also let me drink coffee and at 6 feet I don’t think it stunted my growth.)

If I did go to bed before Daddy, I went to bed with Mom. I remember lying in bed with her having her rub my back. As she would fall asleep herself I would make a little wiggle to wake her back up so she’d keep patting me. Funny how I’m the one now patting Ian and falling asleep in the bed.

Whenever Daddy would come to bed, he would pick me up and carry me back to my room. Sometimes it would wake me up but I always pretended to be asleep because I loved how it felt being carried back and tucked into bed.

So here we are with a child of our own and no rules. For his first year or so he never even had pajamas. We only started using them in the winter because he kicks his blankets off. We do talk about night night now and we do have a routine. But sometimes that routine starts later than others. And sometimes he’s just not tired.

Lots of books talk about how you’re supposed to train your child to sleep or teach them how to go to sleep on their own. But I was never trained that I know of and I sleep like a corpse (it’s kind of alarming). Really, even as an adult I’d rather go to bed snuggled up with someone patting my back than by myself while everyone else stays awake. It just seems like common sense to me.

Ian will have plenty of time to sleep all day without my help. For now I just want to make sure he’s happy and safe and comfy. It’s what my parents did for me so it only seems fair I pass it on.

When we first brought home our newborn infant, everyone told us that we wouldn’t get any sleep. They told us that we would need meals brought to us and things done for us and no visitors because we would be so exhausted. And yet, I felt the best I had felt in years (well, except for the whole lady part healing). I remember being so distraught the first time Ian cried when I changed his diaper at about 6 weeks old or so. Literally he hadn’t cried before then; he’d never had a reason to.

Fast forward to this morning when literally the first thing Ian did when he woke up was start crying and flipping out because I had put a shirt on him. Ah, how times change.

The biggest thing we weren’t prepared for these days is our child no longer sleeping. It has turned our house upside down these last two weeks (which is part of the reason I’ve been so silent online). Now instead of tending to a crying newborn, we have a wailing, flailing, thrashing toddler who weighs 30 pounds!

I reached out to my birth class classmates at 3am for some advice. While the advise was slim, the sympathy was overflowing and it was nice to know we aren’t the only ones not sleeping. It got me to thinking about just how many people are walking around with some sort of sleep issue. My father has sleep apnea. My mother has been sleep deprived since approximately 1960. My friend has insomnia and has to play one of 4 DVDs to go to sleep at night.

My father once said that sleep deprivation is a national crisis. I wonder how many people on the road do stupid things because they’re tired. All those people who can’t put their state registration tags on correctly were probably doing it on less than three hours sleep.

Sleep and dreams and that third of our day (HA!) have been on my mind lately. So I thought it would make a good Living Out Loud topic. Tell us about your own relationship with sleep. Does it come easy for you or not? Are you a covers thief? Do you snore? Is there a particular side of the bed you have to use? Did you sleep well as a baby? As a kid? As a young adult? What’s the stupidest/craziest thing you’ve done that’s caused you sleep? Are you a snuggler or do you need a certain demilitarized zone around you?

Details include:

• Write something personal about yourself using the previous paragraphs as a guideline. Do not feel that you have to address each prompt above. The spirit of this project is to share something about yourself; I’m just throwing out ideas.

• Once you have completed your entry and posted it, please email me the link at genie [at] inabottle [dot] org. Remember, if you don’t email me, I’m likely to forget to include you in the recap!

• If you do not have a blog to host your story, you can email me the story directly and I will add it here as a guest post giving you credit. The more the merrier!

• The due date for entries is Sunday, May 8th (this upcoming Sunday) at 5pm Eastern.

• Once I have collected all the entries, I will post a wrap-up to list them all and announce a winner. The winner will receive a $25 Amazon gift card but all participants will receive fame and glory and a link on our Living Out Loud blogroll.

I’m only giving us until this Sunday (which is Mother’s Day so plan accordingly), but we all wait until the last minute anyways, so what’s a little short notice. Here’s hoping I can get us back on “schedule” for June!

First apologies for the tardiness of this recap. My LOL Sunday routine of late has been to write my entry during nap time and post the recap after Ian goes to bed. But we installed a ceiling fan Sunday night instead and then yesterday Dad and I fixed the furnace so that took up my evening. But it’s for the best, because I had a few late entries that were worth the wait.

So let’s see what we have!

Rachel’s Clouds over blue sky
I am so proud of you for holding onto that domain. It’s what I think you should be doing. Now to just get there from here.

SuziCate’s Freedom Of The Big Blue Sky
I love the line “We are told we are only allowed to stretch the fabric of our lives so far.” And I also love the creativity of sewing something new. It’s so exciting!

Peg’s Blue Skies Ahead
My mom and brother were bookkeepers and accountants and I totally get that “no time for imagination” thing. Imagine their dismay when I quit engineering to minor in Creative Writing! And I think your skies will be blue again, if nothing else through your blog. Go you!

Kim’s Well, why not?
Welcome back, Kim! Leslie’s quote made me laugh out loud so hard! Whew, boy! And I also thought about those notebooks of “dream homes” we made. With glass-walled pools and indoor slides and craziness. I love all your blue-skying. Just don’t break your arm before final exams.

Deb’s The Sky’s the Limit
Ha, when I first read this I was all, “ooh, Deb does suck at blue skying.” But I can see glimmers of blue in there. Plant a garden. Get a pool. Go on a date. Then again, wanting what you have is good too.

Karal’s Blue Sky Crazy
Welcome back, Karal! I’m glad you’re coming out of your comfort zone in many ways.

Megan’s In my blue sky
Ironic that Megan helped me come up with this theme and was so panicked she wouldn’t have something to write. But I’m pleased to see a little blue sky in your world.

Ben’s How to Blue Sky
Hehe, I should have made him write his entry before everyone else did. Ben had to work all day Sunday so we let him slide his entry in a smidge late since he was our inspiration. And now I’m even more renewed to do some more “blue sky”ing.

Donal’s Blue skies smiling at me …
I totally give him a pass for being late since he was a) sick all weekend and b) put so much thought into his entry. What a blue sky!

And my own This old house

I am so pleased with how many of you participated, particularly since the topic was a little daunting for some. And I think we’ve all learned a bit about ourselves and how we should spread our wings a little more. It pleases me to have such a diverse list of people’s dreams documented, all in the spirit of living out loud.

It was hard to pick a winner. SuziCate’s line really grabbed me. And Kim’s made me laugh many times. And Ben did offer us a tutorial on blue skying. But I enjoyed reading Donal’s. It was a straight up day dream of all thing things his blue sky camp would have. And no one was counting up how much flushable toilets would cost at this facility. I was taken along on his ride through his camp. And that is really what blue skying should be about.

So I choose Donal as our winner this month. He persevered through illness over the weekend and stayed up late last night to share with us. Donal will receive our customary $25 Amazon gift card but everyone has earned high praise and mad props for sharing. While I sometimes feel like forcing myself to write these will kill me dead at times, I always love the outcome and I always love reading what you’ve all done. Go team!

Donal was sick over the weekend but was very interested in participating. He had even asked if there was a limit to how long his entry could be, to which I said “have at it!” So I gave him a bit of an extension and he finished this in the wee hours of the night last night. Since LiveJournal was being squirrely (that’s a technical term), he sent this to me in an email, which I am re-posting here.

——————

My Blue Sky has been with me in some form for many years. It would almost be plausible, if the right financing could be found – like winning a lottery.

It begins with a large piece of land – about 100 acres. Part of it would be cleared, part would be wooded. Most of it would be pretty flat, but some of it would be somewhat hilly – rolling. There would either be a small lake on it, or it would front on a lake or a fairly large river.

Somewhere in a secluded but accessible location on this land, probably in a clear area near the woods, would be a house. It would take the form of a fortified manor, taking its inspiration from some of the “castles” in the Scottish Highlands that were intended more to protect from marauding neighbours and reivers than to resist a determined attack.

But the house is not really the focus of the dream. That would occupy an area some distance from the house, and cater to a very different sort of visitors.

The dream is a summer camp, a very specialized one, with a Mediaeval theme, where boys and girls (quartered suitably far apart to protect the boys from the girls) would spend a couple of weeks engaging in the sort of activities associated with summer camp, along with a number of historically-based subject areas. There would be indoor, classroom-type instruction, indoor and semi-outdoor hands-on activities, and outdoor, hands-on activities. Each camper would have some of each, to ensure a diversity of experiences.

There would be a family session each year, where family groups would attend and take much of the instruction together, though splitting up for some of the athletics.

There would be an adult session with emphasis on the historical activities such as the various combat sports and historical equitation.

In the off season, the site would be available for SCA and other historical reenactment and re-creational events. The Great Hall would be a perfect site for feasts, the various instructional areas could be used for seminars or an SCA-style “university,” and the outdoor areas would be well-suited to SCA heavy combat, fencing, coursing (simulated hunting with dogs), and equestrian sports. The undeveloped areas could be used for SCA “wars” with large teams pitted against each other in open field, in the woods, or in scenarios representing assaults on castle gates, bridges, and the like. Siege-engine competitions and training sessions could be held also, with enough space to allow the big siege engines to achieve maximum range.

The main part of the facility would be set up as a castle, though it might be constructed largely of wood rather than stone. Around it would be a variety of activity venues: a riding stable with horses, several riding areas including jousting lists, a quintain course, and other training setups; an archery range, a javelin range, an axe-throwing range, and a siege-engine park, Inside the castle walls would be a Great Hall with its own fully equipped (modern) kitchen,
living quarters of various kinds, and examples of the workshops that might be found in a Mediæval castle: blacksmith shop, armoury, carpenter shop, leatherworking shop, and so forth. There would be some open areas for training and practice of historical martial arts, a number of classroom-type areas, and a chapel.

The facility would be close enough to the lake or river to give access to a waterfront with a swimming area and facilities for rowboats, canoes, and sailboats.

Near the structure would be an area for tent camping, with water risers available. This contributes to the secondary role of the facility as a site for SCA and similar historically-based events. The water sources would be concealed in small structures that look like wells. There would be one or more “bathhouses” with flush toilets, sinks, and showers – if more than one, placed so that everyone would have fairly easy access to them. Depending on the size of an event, porta-johns might still be needed to supplement the sanitary facilities.

Outdoor activities would include SCA-style “heavy” youth combat, historical dueling (fencing), archery, court tennis (also called “real” tennis*), historical badminton (played with wooden paddles and a heavy shuttlecock), and historical riding, including training in jousting (using targets and quintains). Historical camping skills such as building and tending fires, cooking with fire, and the like.

Indoor activities would be largely in the “arts-and-crafts” area, and many of them would straddle the modern/historical line, such as woodworking, leatherworking, pottery, and painting. Some crafts, like armouring and blacksmithing, would be mostly demonstration activities, to familiarize the campers with the work, though the older ones would be able to do some hands on activity. Calligraphy, illumination, embroidery, vocal and instrumental music, historical dancing, and various other forms of needlecraft would also be included..

Classroom instruction would include subjects such as formal courtesy, heraldry, traditions of the tournament, history and development of armour, clothing, and architecture.

The campers would wear historically-based clothing for much of the time: Tunics and long or short leggings for the boys, longer dresses for the girls. For activities for which such garb is not suitable, modern clothing would be worn, and changing areas would be available in those areas, Meals would be served family style, with the campers instructed in and expected to use historically-based table manners (though with allowances for modern sensibilities). After dinner on some nights, there would be time set aside for dancing (might even be mandatory). Meals would also be used as a means of teaching some Mediaeval-based practices, such as serving at table, pouring drinks (don’t worry, it would be iced tea or ‘bug juice’), carving, and the like. The campers would take turns at these tasks, including the more formal serving at the “high table,” in this case the table for senior staff and instructors. Campers would be required to use historical forms of address and courtesy.

The daily routine would be based on our best understanding of life in a castle. A bell would signal the beginning and end of activity sessions, meals, and chapel services. In keeping with the tradition of the time, there would be chapel services daily. Attendance would be mandatory, though active participation would not. Those whose faith traditions are not Christian should consider it part of the cultural experience. Campers would have one or two “better” sets of garb to wear to dinner and for court. Some sort of ceremonial court would be held several times during each session, to confer awards and to give the campers practice in court etiquette.

In all, the experience would be as close to cultural immersion as one could get, without losing the conveniences of running water and electricity. And that’s my Blue Sky dream.

* “Real” doesn’t imply that lawn tennis is ersatz. It’s a French term meaning royal.

Donal was sick over the weekend but was very interested in participating. He had even asked if there was a limit to how long his entry could be, to which I said “have at it!” So I gave him a bit of an extension and he finished this in the wee hours of the night last night. Since LiveJournal was being squirrely (that’s a technical term), he sent this to me in an email, which I am re-posting here.

——————

My Blue Sky has been with me in some form for many years. It would almost be plausible, if the right financing could be found – like winning a lottery.

It begins with a large piece of land – about 100 acres. Part of it would be cleared, part would be wooded. Most of it would be pretty flat, but some of it would be somewhat hilly – rolling. There would either be a small lake on it, or it would front on a lake or a fairly large river.

Somewhere in a secluded but accessible location on this land, probably in a clear area near the woods, would be a house. It would take the form of a fortified manor, taking its inspiration from some of the “castles” in the Scottish Highlands that were intended more to protect from marauding neighbours and reivers than to resist a determined attack.

But the house is not really the focus of the dream. That would occupy an area some distance from the house, and cater to a very different sort of visitors.

The dream is a summer camp, a very specialized one, with a Mediaeval theme, where boys and girls (quartered suitably far apart to protect the boys from the girls) would spend a couple of weeks engaging in the sort of activities associated with summer camp, along with a number of historically-based subject areas. There would be indoor, classroom-type instruction, indoor and semi-outdoor hands-on activities, and outdoor, hands-on activities. Each camper would have some of each, to ensure a diversity of experiences.

There would be a family session each year, where family groups would attend and take much of the instruction together, though splitting up for some of the athletics.

There would be an adult session with emphasis on the historical activities such as the various combat sports and historical equitation.

In the off season, the site would be available for SCA and other historical reenactment and re-creational events. The Great Hall would be a perfect site for feasts, the various instructional areas could be used for seminars or an SCA-style “university,” and the outdoor areas would be well-suited to SCA heavy combat, fencing, coursing (simulated hunting with dogs), and equestrian sports. The undeveloped areas could be used for SCA “wars” with large teams pitted against each other in open field, in the woods, or in scenarios representing assaults on castle gates, bridges, and the like. Siege-engine competitions and training sessions could be held also, with enough space to allow the big siege engines to achieve maximum range.

The main part of the facility would be set up as a castle, though it might be constructed largely of wood rather than stone. Around it would be a variety of activity venues: a riding stable with horses, several riding areas including jousting lists, a quintain course, and other training setups; an archery range, a javelin range, an axe-throwing range, and a siege-engine park, Inside the castle walls would be a Great Hall with its own fully equipped (modern) kitchen,
living quarters of various kinds, and examples of the workshops that might be found in a Mediæval castle: blacksmith shop, armoury, carpenter shop, leatherworking shop, and so forth. There would be some open areas for training and practice of historical martial arts, a number of classroom-type areas, and a chapel.

The facility would be close enough to the lake or river to give access to a waterfront with a swimming area and facilities for rowboats, canoes, and sailboats.

Near the structure would be an area for tent camping, with water risers available. This contributes to the secondary role of the facility as a site for SCA and similar historically-based events. The water sources would be concealed in small structures that look like wells. There would be one or more “bathhouses” with flush toilets, sinks, and showers – if more than one, placed so that everyone would have fairly easy access to them. Depending on the size of an event, porta-johns might still be needed to supplement the sanitary facilities.

Outdoor activities would include SCA-style “heavy” youth combat, historical dueling (fencing), archery, court tennis (also called “real” tennis*), historical badminton (played with wooden paddles and a heavy shuttlecock), and historical riding, including training in jousting (using targets and quintains). Historical camping skills such as building and tending fires, cooking with fire, and the like.

Indoor activities would be largely in the “arts-and-crafts” area, and many of them would straddle the modern/historical line, such as woodworking, leatherworking, pottery, and painting. Some crafts, like armouring and blacksmithing, would be mostly demonstration activities, to familiarize the campers with the work, though the older ones would be able to do some hands on activity. Calligraphy, illumination, embroidery, vocal and instrumental music, historical dancing, and various other forms of needlecraft would also be included..

Classroom instruction would include subjects such as formal courtesy, heraldry, traditions of the tournament, history and development of armour, clothing, and architecture.

The campers would wear historically-based clothing for much of the time: Tunics and long or short leggings for the boys, longer dresses for the girls. For activities for which such garb is not suitable, modern clothing would be worn, and changing areas would be available in those areas, Meals would be served family style, with the campers instructed in and expected to use historically-based table manners (though with allowances for modern sensibilities). After dinner on some nights, there would be time set aside for dancing (might even be mandatory). Meals would also be used as a means of teaching some Mediaeval-based practices, such as serving at table, pouring drinks (don’t worry, it would be iced tea or ‘bug juice’), carving, and the like. The campers would take turns at these tasks, including the more formal serving at the “high table,” in this case the table for senior staff and instructors. Campers would be required to use historical forms of address and courtesy.

The daily routine would be based on our best understanding of life in a castle. A bell would signal the beginning and end of activity sessions, meals, and chapel services. In keeping with the tradition of the time, there would be chapel services daily. Attendance would be mandatory, though active participation would not. Those whose faith traditions are not Christian should consider it part of the cultural experience. Campers would have one or two “better” sets of garb to wear to dinner and for court. Some sort of ceremonial court would be held several times during each session, to confer awards and to give the campers practice in court etiquette.

In all, the experience would be as close to cultural immersion as one could get, without losing the conveniences of running water and electricity. And that’s my Blue Sky dream.

* “Real” doesn’t imply that lawn tennis is ersatz. It’s a French term meaning royal.